I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
