maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
