and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
