I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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