Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
