Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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