please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
