All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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