Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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