Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
