I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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