walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
