what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
