So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
