I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize