wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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