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Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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