): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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