Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
