im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
