i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
