I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
