We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
