I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
