Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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