It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
