Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
well most of my day revolves around power hour
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
