Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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