i barfeds in our rink
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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