Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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