Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
