Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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