It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I am mentally ready for anal.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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