paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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