My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
