I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
