Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
