So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
