As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
