did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
