god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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