Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
what day is it and did you see me today?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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