she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Acid is not a monday night drug
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
