There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i think my mom watched the whole time
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
