You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
