So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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