Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
