dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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