Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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