Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
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