Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
