i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
