You're completely useless in the revolution.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize