The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
