Why does Corona taste like a burp?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
