How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
