yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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