Me too!
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
