This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
