Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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