maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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