At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
