road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
