walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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